you know, sometimes it just feels as though fate is playing a cruel game on you..giving you hope for a few seconds before crushing it with its bare hands and leaving you disappointed..well, today was such a day..i started out, with a tinkling of hope that i may be able to get into YO (finally) as i felt that i played pretty alright during my practices..my optimism was dealt no harm when my tutor said my playing was not bad..and so, i set out to CCAB in high spirits, quietly confident..then, disaster struck..i missed 13, which could take me to a busstop where 156 is available AND 93..so im left with the next best alternative, which is 88..just as i thought i might be able to make it in time, i saw 156 travelling in the opposite direction as i was about to reach RI..well, at that point, i was thinking, shit, im so gonna be late..so i took my time, walked across the overhead bridge and sms-ed IRIS for the schedule..when i saw that it is 'arriving', my spirits immediately rose..but then, it turned out to be a false dawn for me..so i smsed again and found out that its coming in 16 minutes..then, i was panicking like crap cuz its already 9:49 and my assessment time slot is at 10:15..but i have no choice but to wait for the bus..then there was a rapid exchange of smses between Valerie and me as she kept urging me to hurry up while i myself am panicking like crap..ok, so the bus came and i ran frm the bus stop into CCAB, panting and being super out of breath..i struggled to hold the pen straight as i filled up my particulars..then i went in, without ANY proper warmup at all..so i went in and found out to my horror that i was supposed to play 2 pieces instead of 1..well, at least Mr Lim was kind enough to do away with that requirement..so i started playing..for 1 second, before Jamie Herse(?), the other assessor, told me that i was playing at the wrong tempo..well, at about half the tempo really..okay, so i would put that down to a case of nerves as i was really nervous and not very well-prepared..but at least i played that portion well, sounded okay and i tot, maybe i would have a chance..just maybe..but then, came the animato section..the phrase which i feared the worse passed by without much incident..so far, so good...BUT THEN, the next part, which is the EASIER part, just tonguing, was where disaster struck..instead of playing G, i played a partial higher, to A..then everything came down and the E natural became G instead..due to the speed, i was unable to change without the whole thing being too jumbled up..well, at least the ending was okay..but by then, the damage is done..can i still get in??i left home today with a hope that i can get in..but i returned home today just with a hope that i could have done better..sigh..see how fate likes to play around with us??
